Chuck Norris Facts

Seeing Elfmans sig reminded me of this site and I had to revisit. Its still freakin hilarious.

http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/

My faves:

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this "a slow Tuesday."
Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.


Dang these are histerical!

Ha Ha, a good find

[coolbeans326]

Yes, the Chuck Norris craze has finally hit WWS. Took it long enough.

Chuck Norris visited the Virgin Islands. They are now reffered to as "The Islands."

Haha, I love these. Here's some more, they might be on that site too but oh well.

10 Little Known Facts About Chuck Norris
1. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
2. A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is "Charles".
Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he
exploded.
3. Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead
decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter
he grew a beard.
4. Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the
JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his
beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
5. The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Chuck
Norris--more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris--robot in disguise," and
starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from
drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far
too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.
6. Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift
of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen,
jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined
influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of
roundhouse kick related deaths.
7. Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by
yelling, "Bang!"
8. When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from
cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also
requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on
his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.
9. Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and
saying "booya".
10. Before each filming of Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris is
injected with five times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilzer.
This is, of course, to limit the number of casualties to the actors that have to fight him.

Human cloning is outlawed because if Chuck Norris were cloned, then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another chuck Norris roundhouse kick. Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe.

Best one yet.

Chuck Norris dosnt have a watch, Chuck Norris decides what time it is.

[coolbeans326]

Not only can Chuck Norris read Braille, Chuck Norris can speak Braille.
Chuck Norris was an original character in Mortal Combat, but they had to take him out. He won every time.
Chuck Norris doesn't get frostbite, Chuck Norris bites frost.
Switzerland is not really a neutral country. They just haven't figured out which side Chuck Norris is on yet.
Chuck Norris can swallow a Rubix Cube, and crap it out solved.
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.


Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Chuck Norris once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Chuck Norris re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publicly claimed it was
a meteor, and still owes him a beer.

And Finally....

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

LOL, Some of those are pretty bomb.

Chuck Norris doesn't dodge bullets. Bullets dodge Chuck Norris.

LMAo there was a site filled with random factsa bout Chuck Norris, Vin Disiel, and Mr. T.

"Chuck Norris can swallow a Rubix Cube, and crap it out solved."

Thats the funniest one.

Are any of these true? I'm sure there's one that's believable...

Chuck Norris Fact:

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only 3 moves.

here's a random vin diesel one:

Crop circles aren't caused my aliens. Vin Diesel makes crop circles as his way of saying that sometimes corn should lie the love down.

lol I've seen that one on that chucknorris.com site and the 4Q.cc site that I mentioned below (about chuck norris instead of vin diesel)

i dont get why everyone makes fun of him lol but there funny

Originally posted by screamomatic

Are any of these true? I'm sure there's one that's believable...

if it is believable its not funny[;)]

and this site here has the better ones.

Chuck Norris can play a game of Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun, and win.

Chuck Norris can touch M.C. Hammer.

Chuck Norris can believe it's not butter.

Chuck Norris frequently signs up for beginner karate classes, just so he can "accidentally" beat the poop out of little kids.

[jayman]

can he ride appollo's chariot without hitting a duck?

Of course.

He could ride Appollo's Chariot through a flock of migrating birds and not get hit because at the very instant a bird would hit him he would roundhouse kick the entire migration into extinction.

http://www.spikedhumor.com/articles/215 ... orris.html

I do not quite understand this Chuck Norris craze, to be honest it's not really that funny at all. Plus Bruce Lee owns Chuck Norris

lol...you dont get much do you Edge.

The "craze" is just meant to be funny. Its not meant to make him seem cool.

As for Bruce Lee vs anyone. come on. He developed his own style of fighting. Hes a legend and hes one of the greatest known martial artists ever. Period.

I believe in that video the director of it asked Bruce Lee to slow down initially because his first movements were so fast the camera was catching nothing. Which I believe. That was shot a long time ago on probably some crappy cameras. Even those movements were too fast for the camera.

Pfft, even Jackie Chan would own Chuck Norris in a clean fight

[jayman]

i thought it was funny, i don't like chuck norris.

[coolbeans326]

If you noticed though, CHuck doesn't have his beard... and everyone knows that's the source of his power, much like samson and his hair.[;)]

[jayman]

ahh..

Originally posted by Real

Seeing Elfmans sig reminded me of this site and I had to revisit. Its still freakin hilarious.

Haha I saw that the craze had not yet hit WWS and decided to implement.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC for the rights over the hit show Law & Order -- the trademarked names for his left and right legs.