My unpopular, unrequested review of Portaventura

[afro85]

Portaventura… my somewhat underwhelming experience!
(My unpopular, unrequested review of PA!)

Furious baco is not as rough as I thought I would be.
Dragon khan is the worst B&M I’ve been on… rougher than what I thought Furious Baco was supposed to be! Although it looks impressive and the layout is great those trains made the ride literally a head-banger! I can guarantee that you exit the ride with a sore neck and a head hake!
Shambala… oh Shambala… what can I say… I was there mainly for you…. But you didn’t want me… you said I was too big for your taste…. Sure I put on some weight lately… but I could ride any other ride including the kiddie coaster but not you…. Biggest ride in the park with the tiniest heavy-ass tolerance you judging Swiss b***tch! But don’t worry… I’ll be back!
General operations didn’t impress me, mostly inconsistent and sometimes clueless staff members.
Basically the park has no rule enforcement not once you hear or read about not bringing loose objects on the rides…. And I’ve seen many riders with the phone out or GoPro without straps… that’s ridiculous!
Back on the coasters…. So DK was shaky AF as I said before but nothing could prepared me for how horrible of an experience Stampida was…. I hated and suffered every second of it after the lift… I even tried both sides hoping the second was at least more enjoyable than the first… they were both unbearable! Worst 2 coaster I’ve ever been on… what a waste of wood goddammit!!
Weirdly enough Tomahawk the kiddie wooden (made by cci with gci trains) it was a lot smoother, too bad they didn’t have enough wood to keep the ride going for a little more… it drops it turns and turns again near Shitpida, it dips a little and turn into the brake run … weird choice there!
To end on a positive note I’d say that Ferrari land was a nice surprise well organized and great theming all around!!
Red force is a superb intamin!! Fastest and tallest than any other ride I’ve been on… was it my favorite?? Not at all… I thought that ride would blow my mind but it didn’t, although really enjoyable an re rideable! Certainly intense but not as intense as Furious Baco…. That ride really surprised me for how brutal it was!! In a positive way so much so that ended up crowning the n1 spot for me in the park.
Until I’m back waiting to see what “that b***tch” is all about (that’s what I’m gonna call Shambala from now on)

PS: you’ll need extremely comfy shoes to walk around this park or you’ll gonna die in agony!!!
Just sayin’.